Because clearly, that is about as likely as the tag line that reads: Cat Gives Birth to 37-year-old Man!!! 

Or so says my local radio station's ad for weight-loss surgery: "When I was heavy, I never even wanted to leave my couch, never mind walk to the park. But now that I have my Lap-Band, I can play with my kids EVERY DAY!!. "
And Marie Osmond: "NOW my kids are proud of me!" (evidently superstardom is still eclipsed by FAT).
And now, the most hurtful betrayal of all.... Mrs. Huxtable. I held out hope for her at first, when Phylicia Rashad spoke of losing weight for her cardiovascular health, and how she was still okay with herself at a higher weight, but then she dealt the blow: "It's not like I was ROTUND. I was NEVER rotund!!" Ah, I see. Thanks for clearing that up. Thank god we weren't dealing with threat level: DEATH FAT. Of COURSE you couldn't have still thought you were a beautiful and talented actress and mother THEN. And of course it's not the health issues with which she was struggling or positive body issues at any size she speaks of in her Jenny Craig commercial.

It seems everywhere I go watch, moms in different stages of life (or syndication) are hollering LESS WEIGHT = BETTER MOM! Silly me... here I thought that it was a choice to take interest, and participate daily in my childrens' lives, no matter what the extent of my physical limitations. Behind every commercial that accuses me of being a fat (TERRIBLE) mother I feel the unaired question: exactly how much physical ability must one have to be a regulation Good Mom(TM)? Whose testimonial will read, "once I lost that pesky wheelchair I could finally play PROPERLY with my kids EVERY DAY," or "once I miraculously became sighted I was able to read to my children from NORMAL books like parents SHOULD"?
I work every day with children who come from a wide range of homes, with parents in various states of able-bodiedness, and can absolutely and without question say that the different parenting styles, from 110% (sometimes over-)involvement to, in some (sad) cases, neglectful (to the point of abuse), have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with fat or any other body type or ability. I am a firm believer in HAES, and, beyond that, of GoodParentingAtAnySize. And yet everywhere around me Good Mom is constantly trying to LOSE WEIGHT for her kids. Trying to be SEXIER for her husband. More and more for everyone else, and less and less for her. She certainly sees no representation of Good Mom as FAT*

Being an invisible mom isn't really a new concept, nor is being an invisible fattie. Taking up space that clearly isn't ours (it's my fault - I didn't write my name on it) and simultaneously living a life in servitude to our families (moms have no names, only labels) leaves many fat moms (including myself) feeling rather like our bodies should fly as low under the radar as possible. Dating sites (a whole other topic, to be sure) enforce that the two WORST things to find out about a prospective match are that she's a) OBESE, and b)a mom. Fat mom = REJECTION COMBO. Of course, if , like Claire H., your kids have grown up and moved on (presumably to those they can be PROUD of), TV tells me there's hope for you NOW. Because...

Now that you're done with that mom nonsense, you can finally be THIN! SEXY! SEEN!! Shed all of those invisibility cloaks of motherhood and FAT, and take your place in the REAL (fat-free) WORLD!
Yeesh - between being invisiFAT and invisiMOM, it's no small wonder I can see my own two legs to put my fat mom jeans on in the morning!

BUT.

Not so much for me any more. Since joining the world of FA, I have come to two critical decisions: 1) that damn right, my body DOES take up space, and what an AWESOME job it does! Look at those fantastically-be-legging-ed gams go! I know this is basic FA 101, but it was a HUGE (lol) deal for me to start dressing like I actually wanted to, which brings me to 2) that damn right, I AM a mom, but this is only one of the things I am (though yes, they are my whole world yada yada), and no, I don't have to dress down to yoga-wear (even if I've never done a downward-facing dog in my life) just to appear as if I am ACTIVE! FIT! TRYING NOT TO BE FAT SO AS TO BE A BETTER MOM! mom.**

So to all you FatMoms on my flist, I encourage you to shed your khaki and lululemon, don that spring frock you've been eyeing, and set a great example for your children. They will benifit endlessly from seeing YOU happy.

*oh, there are certainly Good Moms who are fat at the moment, but they are TRYING to lose weight, OKAY?? they are NOT having any of that gooey chocolate cake they made for their family, and they are COMICALLY running on the treadmill while watching their stories, but they are not FAT FOREVER.
**these both brought me to amend my dating site profile to include all things FAT! and MOM!, and the combination of both. i have yet to find another profile as brutally honest, but have actually gotten several messages from other users letting me know that reading it has prompted them to be more up-front with their own.